Caught, Lined Up and Stalked

Posted: May 23, 2011 in About Me

I’m no one famous. I’m not known for anything special, apart from writing, following the news doggedly and doing well academically. I like how I look, but I acknowledge and respect the fact that there are others out there who are smarter and better-looking than I am. I have no claim to fame yet…

Then why is it that I have a stalker? A full-fledged, big-nosed, brimming-over-with-selfish-interests stalker?

Before I proceed, let me profile the Stalker for you: The Stalker is genderless and its name is Secret (thanks, K-man). It is not a dog but behaves like one. It is well-connected among my social circles so there is virtually nothing I can do to shoo it off without getting a bad name.

No matter where, I go, what I do, Secret is watching me. I am like a business to it…it expects to invest in me and have a share of my profits and losses and whatever else I do on a daily basis. Even if I ignore it, it comes back to haunt me in different forms. If I bluntly shoo it away, it doesn’t get the hint. I’m not Secret’s first victim. It’s like one of those Misery curses…anyone who frees another from the curse is doomed forever themselves.

When I run there’s always two sets of feet I can hear. When I use the Internet I’m certain that an owlish pair of eyes is tracking my every move. From time to time, I feel like I’m hearing fingernails scraping a blackboard, like I’m trapped in Minotaur’s maze, like I’m having a full-blown asthma attack (never had a proper one yet and never hope to have one in the future), like Atlas tricked me into holding the globe for him and went away…I could go on and on and on.

It’s not like I haven’t done anything to remedy this. Hint-dropping, blacklists, barring services and security have all proved to be ineffective. I have, of course, been at the other end of this kind of exchange, so people might expect me to be slightly more considerate. But they forget that this is the first time I’M being stalked, too.

It seriously looks like Secret goes by this quote: “I’ve learned that you can’t make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.” :/

Secret is so hungry all the time. It eats at my space and and drinks up my freedom.  So, a message for you, dear Secret: Stop cluttering my mind up and get a life.

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Comments
  1. Yash says:

    Let’s just hope Mr. Stalker reads this & backs off. 😛

  2. Prateek says:

    Seems the stalker’s inspiration is “Orkut”. Irking on the fact that you’re being watched [like Bigg Boss] will do no good neither rambling your mind on how to jerk him off will.
    Everyone is being stalked on this cyber network and personally. Ignorance is a Bliss

    The Unwise Prevails Over The Wise

    • smartie94 says:

      You’re absolutely, completely right, Prateek.
      But it is not a cyber stalker. 🙂
      And I just wanted to write it all out…not that anything conclusive will come of this!

  3. let’s see what the stalker does when it sees big bad bloggers like yash,myself and the aforementioned k-man watching your back XD

    we’ll kick the mutt in the butt.

  4. kingkriz says:

    Jeez..
    Its names catchy though 😛
    Do you think its read the post??

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